Depression Poem

A poem written by a teen that had most everything, yet was still very, very depressed... she was hopelessly afraid to tell her parents, even though they probably would have been very understanding. she had this problem for a few years.

The Mask

© Kasi
I'm great, fine, spectacular. In a way
I relish every night, and I live every day.
I live, I laugh, I write, I sing,
I wonder what the new days will bring.

Then I get home, and I take off the mask.
The day, and almost impossible task,
Is finally over, and so I lie Down,
and wait patiently for the day that I die.

I cry, I scream, I bawl, and sleep,
even though I have promises to keep.
I wait, and wonder, and cry some more,
And I ache and burn from my very core.

Then, I'm not alone, and the mask reappears:
Out goes the grief, pain and all of the tears,
As I am a happy person, cheerful all the day.
A world full of rainbow, not one shade of grey.

Of course I'm not okay, I'm not fine,
No matter how much I seem to shine.
I don't even know why I feel this...
Why my existence is one long, endless abyss.

But it is, and will be, so I cling to life,
As one day I might slip, and end it with a knife.
But, I'm still here, no matter what my dreams might say
And I hope that one day I will actually be okay.

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Published: Nov 2009
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49 Stories on "The Mask"
  1. Akufesia Submitted on Monday, March 08, 2010

    Emotionally, sympathetic. I have once felt so but later recieved psychological attention.

  2. Amber Lenz, Centreville Alabama Submitted on Monday, March 08, 2010

    I felt the same way when I was about 13 years old and I was wondering if anyone had felt the same. Now I have found out that life is okay it does not matter if I'm not okay... I mean it does, but I'm over the whole killing myself because I don't have what I want or when I want, but I totally understand. I am 16 years old and life is rough but I will live through it.
    Life is like a roller coaster it has its ups and its downs you just have to go with the flow and hope and pray things get better

  3. Alex Bashore Submitted on Wednesday, May 12, 2010

    I know how you feel I'm going through the same thing right now loved your poem great message.

  4. Stephanie Submitted on Saturday, June 19, 2010

    This is exactly how I feel! I never knew people feel the same way I thought I was alone. This poem gave me hope :)

  5. Keegan Shive, Louisville Kentucky Submitted on Monday, June 21, 2010

    I used to think like this too and then I had an epiphany. Maybe I'm just having too much fun during the day to care about the things that I'd lose sleep over if I was alone to dwell on them.

  6. Brooklyn, Kentucky Submitted on Monday, July 19, 2010

    I'm 13 and I have felt this way like no one understands you at all I thought. I was the only one who ever felt this way.

  7. Crystalmoon X Submitted on Thursday, August 19, 2010

    This poem really touched me because I know what it feels like. Acting all happy in front of everyone when really inside you feel so lost, then when you get home you just flinging yourself onto your bed and crying. That's how I've been feeling for a while and I've been surprised at how many people feel the same.

  8. Sasha, No-Where Submitted on Thursday, September 23, 2010

    I really liked this. I wish I could write poems like this. Recently my mask came off, only with a certain person. But it helps so much :)

  9. Jordan, Georgia Submitted on Saturday, September 25, 2010

    This is exactly the way I feel. I'm 13 years old and I feel like I have to wear a mask when I'm around people but when I get alone I cry and write poetry that my friends read in school and they wonder how I can act so okay when I'm in public. I wonder the same thing. I've grown so accustomed to acting okay it's weird. I pray everyday that one day things will be okay and hopefully they will be, not only for me but for everyone that feels the same depression we feel.

  10. Sydney, Florida Submitted on Thursday, October 07, 2010

    Great poem. Exactly how I was this summer. Then I threw myself into sports and school and now I'm too busy to be sad anymore (: haha keep your head up and keep looking for the cliché "light at the end of the tunnel." <3

  11. Courtney, VA Submitted on Saturday, November 20, 2010

    I'm a13 year old , dealing with depression. I have to do a project on poetry and this poem touched me. I was wondering if it is possible to get the full name of the author, thank you. this is beautiful.

  12. Amanda, Michigan Submitted on Monday, November 29, 2010

    This is like the story of my life. I have tried many times to put it down on paper. Thank you for helping me find the words.

  13. Mandy, Texas Submitted on Monday, January 03, 2011

    I'm 14 and dealing with depression. I was reading to see how other people deal, and I came upon this poem. It moved me to no end. This is a beautiful poem and you have inspired me to write how I feel. Thank you so much for the inspiration.

  14. Desperation, Nevada Submitted on Thursday, January 20, 2011

    I have a mask on everyday. lately, I have been forgetting to put it on......and friends do not understand me now that they can tell that I am upset, so they just turn the other way. It sucks....but I am not sure that the mask is any better.

  15. Jay, Florida Submitted on Thursday, February 03, 2011

    omg I feel the same way... I secretly cry when no one is looking and I don't even know why. I mask myself on a daily bases and feel like the world would be a better place without.. I feel like I am just wasting peoples time to be living!!!

  16. Kasi Submitted on Friday, February 25, 2011

    I was recently deleting my 5000 spam e-mails and archiving the important ones, when I came across this. I had forgotten I had written it, but let me tell you is it ever a blast from the past. For all the commenter's living with the same feeling I was, I would like to update you on my life. I talked to my parents shortly after publishing this. I went on anti depressants for the prescribed time, and then I was fine. Since then I've moved, been in and out of love, made a lot of new friends, moved out of my parents house, and am in university. Life goes on! And I just had to live it to really know that. Hang in there!

  17. Bismarck, ND Submitted on Monday, March 21, 2011

    I feel the same way every single day. I feel I cant express myself around anybody. I act so differently when I'm with others its like I am a whole other person.

  18. Ashley, Arizona Submitted on Thursday, March 24, 2011

    Thank you so much for this poem. I have been depressed for a few years now and I have been afraid to tell anyone, even my closest friends for fear of them judging me when they don't know how it feels. My mask is similar to yours, I seems happy, full of energy but when the day is done, I find that I am the only one. I've been shut out by most and the others I try to keep close but it's hard to have the desire to keep my mask on anymore. Thank you though for letting me know that I'm not the only one.

  19. Emerald, Indiana Submitted on Wednesday, March 30, 2011

    I put up a mask everyday and this is exactly how I feel. My friends even the best can't see through it because that's how I designed it.

  20. Amieo Submitted on Sunday, May 29, 2011

    I'm the same everyday. I'm 14 And suffer Depression. But nobody known's because they will walk away from me, Even my best friends.
    I always put on a mask, when I go to school around my friends.
    anywhere. even in front of my mum.
    I'm always the giggly one, the one that always smiles... but no.
    That's not who I really am. -.-'

  21. Kievonn, Toronto Submitted on Sunday, June 12, 2011

    This perfectly describes me. I know no one wants to hear my life story, and I don't really feel like telling it, but yeah, this is pretty much my life. When I'm around people I'm all giggles and happiness, get home, go into the basement or in my room and I get really sad.

    The suicide question has plagued my mind, but I don't really feel like killing myself. Maybe it's cowardice, but I won't do it. I am, however, not afraid of death.

  22. Wendy, California Submitted on Tuesday, July 05, 2011

    Wow, this poem is exactly how I have been feeling for a very long time! People see me and think, "She's so happy, always smiling, laughing and with no worries in the world, well they're wrong! Even when I'm extremely depressed and it shows, my friends ask and all I say is I'm just a little tired, I couldn't sleep last night, and they believe it. I have a mask, one that I wear everyday and not all see it, just a few friends that have gotten close enough to notice, but they don't notice it all of the time. Life does go on though, and one just has to fight to move on with it and just hope for the best and think optimistically (: Hope all of you that have this can find a way out of it and find happiness<3 I'm not there, but I hope I can be soon!

  23. Tiane,Down Under Submitted on Wednesday, July 06, 2011

    Look I was diagnosed with this since I was little it runs in my family and I don't know how to deal it like one second I'm fine the next I feel as if I'm gonna explode.

  24. Jj Submitted on Sunday, July 24, 2011

    I had untreated depression since I was five. For 13 years I dealt with it before I slipped and lost control. I was checked into a psychiatric ward. Tiane sometimes that is for the best. Just to be able to get away for society to recharge your strength and to fight it. In the end death is just the easy way out of your problems. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

  25. Here Submitted on Tuesday, July 26, 2011

    I'm 14 going through the same.. I think you're brave to do that everyday.. me I try.. I'm not brave..but you have opened my eyes..thank you. Remember, suicidal is the wimpy way to leave. Go the brave way. Leave with a fight..

  26. Tanika Submitted on Wednesday, August 17, 2011

    I really really need the name of the author/poet who wrote this. Wb asap
    (it's for a poet speech) I found this really inspiring

  27. Hannah Submitted on Friday, September 23, 2011

    I am so depressed. I can't sleep and I even when I try to sleep..,sometimes I have to cry myself to sleep. It's misery. If I would talk to my councilor my mom would be called and would question me. All I have to talk to is my diary, some friends, and basically myself. Its not helping and I am going insane. I almost fall asleep in class everyday. I have been having suicidal thoughts ever since my crush called me something I thought I would never be called again...,a stalker. It happened last year too with a boy that I really liked. He thought I was nuts and crap but I NEVER stopped talking about him. But this one is worse. First..,it was crying at school when I found out, then it wasn't getting much sleep..,now its suicidal thoughts and has ALMOST cut myself MANY times. I can't do this anymore. Any advice? Please? I need some.

  28. La'Kay Submitted on Thursday, October 20, 2011

    -I Feel The SAME EXACT WAY! I've been trying soo hard to feel what I act and I feel nothing.! I feel so so so so sad inside but every one see's me as this happy go lucky girl who makes everyone laugh and smile and play around and talk and Inside my heart screams for help but my mouth just won't deliver my deadly silent whispers.

  29. Troy, Fairbanks Alaska Submitted on Wednesday, October 26, 2011

    Thank you for this. This is exactly how I feel. I was always trying to put it in my own words, but you have done so better than I ever could. Once again, I thank you. People tell me that reading these will only make my depression worse, but the only time I feel even remotely better is when I find someone that feels the same. It tells me that at least I'm not the only one that has ever felt like this.

  30. Malluu Submitted on Wednesday, November 09, 2011

    I am really touched by your poem and it has instantly become one of my favorites. I have never shared this with anyone before but I feel depressed everyday. I feel that no one loves me nor wants me including my parents. They hate everything I do or I want to do. I want to be somewhere where no one knows me and I can freely live through my life...because after all it is a test that everyone has to go through but at the same time it can be or it is certainly for me A-GREAT-PAIN. I don't necessarily think that I'm different from others but I do feel depressed mostly all the time. In school I have lots of friends but I have never dared to share it with anyone. This poem gave me confidence and a little bit of comfort. Thank you.

  31. Tamara, Dapto Submitted on Monday, November 14, 2011

    I'm not myself
    I'm not who you want me to be
    I'm not who I want to be
    I am who I am
    I'm sad most of the time
    I'm not suicidal
    But I'm not breathing life
    I smile to look happy
    I'm such a good actor that no one notices
    Sometimes I wish they could
    I don't want attention but I want people to know I'm sad
    I'm not one for crying
    But lately its all I want to do
    I go through the day in a haze talking to people as if I'm happy
    I laugh at their jokes
    When they ask me if I'm ok
    I smile and say yes
    Wishing I could say no
    I'm Tamara.

  32. My name is Mariel, I'm 14, I have cut before and I write poetry to get rid of my pain. I go to high school everyday and am forced to watch peoples happiness.

  33. Tatyana, Memphis Tennessee Submitted on Tuesday, May 29, 2012

    I'm 13 and I feel the same way. I actually wear a mask everyday of my life. I cry myself to sleep some nights because of the emotional toll this is taking on me. My family is not a family, they talk about each other behind their backs. And I'm the scapegoat for their emotions. I shared my story with a select group of friends at my school and we figured out that we all had one thing in common bad family life. We confide in each other when things go bad, we prevent everyone from ending their life because of the emotional state we are all in, but we have been able to remain strong. I hide myself in poetry, singing, music, and story writing, so that I can stay sane. These friends are the only ones that can see thru my mask and they are my only true friends in this crazy world.

  34. Katie, Michigan Submitted on Saturday, June 23, 2012

    I have actually called it my mask, and when I read this poem it felt so true, like every word I've tried to say was just explained.
    This was amazing.<3

  35. Ebbonny, Atherton Submitted on Sunday, August 05, 2012

    This poem is me all over and the sad thing is I'm 18 and I still feel the need to put on a brave face or a mask as it is described when ever I'm around people even if I know them really well. The society these days is full of judging and assuming and criticism and it sucks.

  36. I pinned your poem under my Pinterest board entitled "Depression" I encourage the author to keep writing. As a former English teacher, I think this poem is phenomenal! It really explains what so many people who suffer from the invisible disease of depression go through. Thanks.

  37. Kylie, Lost Submitted on Tuesday, November 27, 2012

    This poem truly put my emotions into words. I am 16 years old and have these same exact feelings every single day. The sense of community I feel between you, as well as the many other comments, are both hopeful and disconcerting. I LOVE the thought that I am not alone, despite my feelings everyday. However, it also reminds me how far all of these wonderful people are from me, and shows me the exact people I need in my life to turn it all around. Thank you for this and for showing me I am not crazy nor alone.

  38. Surbhi Bulandshahr. Submitted on Sunday, February 03, 2013

    I would like to relate my life to this poem. This the real story of my life and I have gone through the same feelings. Hope a day will come when the bright sun will wash away all the darkness of our lives.

  39. Natasha, Reno Submitted on Wednesday, May 22, 2013

    I can relate to every single word of this poem. After getting help I still struggle here and there with depression and suicide thoughts but it's nice to know I'm not the only one who feels this way. Not that it's a good thing, but to know that someone else feels the exact same way and doesn't treat me like some outsider or a freak helps in a way.

  40. Brenna F, Earth Submitted on Sunday, June 16, 2013

    This poem was really good and relatable. I'm 13 and very confused about who I am. Alone I'm an emotional wreck that writes songs and poems about my pain, but with friends I'm cheerful. I have a good family and stuff so I should be happy, right? I don''t know which one is me, or if they are both me, or if one is fake then which one?

  41. Wow! This poem is so amazing. Not only because it paints an accurate picture of depression but it uses *your* own voice to show how depression can affect someone so personally.

    I started a website/blog for teens in order to raise awareness for depression and other mental illness. Do you mind if I share your poem (giving you credit of course)?

  42. Sarah Submitted on Wednesday, July 17, 2013

    I'm 13 and I feel the exact same way. The pain and the depression its hard to deal with. I've been through abuse and whole bunch of heck. And I always put a mask on every day. I seem so happy to people but I'm not that happy. At least I'm not the only one who feels the same. GREAT POEM!!

  43. Andrew, Canberra Submitted on Tuesday, August 06, 2013

    This poem is one that I fell in love with instantly. I can relate to this entirely, the confusion, pain and the mask.
    I am a lucky person in the regard that I don't have any ''real'' (as in abuse, family problems, etc.) problems but still there is some pain that I can't explain. As the poem illustrates, I only take off my ''mask'' at home, if that, and even though I know it can be a bad thing, I don't feel comfortable without it. Thank you for publishing this poem, it has made all the difference.

  44. Keiy, Georgia Submitted on Sunday, January 05, 2014

    I've felt this way since I was at least eight. The feeling did go away (or fade into the background) for a few months but came back stronger than ever in July. When I found this poem it hit me hard. I didn't think there was anyone else that felt the way I did, that knew what it's like to where this "mask" every single day. This poem has become my all time favorite poem. I will forever love & cherish this poem because of the fact that it is a part of me.
    I want to thank whoever wrote this poem. You've shown me that I'm not alone. Thank you.

  45. Lucia, Illinois Submitted on Monday, January 06, 2014

    I'm 13 years old too, it's amazing how many people who commented were 13:). I know just what you are feeling, everyday I put on the mask that is happy, cheerful, and has no worries. That is what everyone around me also thinks, that I am a happy, fearless girl, but in the inside I'm not. I feel depressed when I'm alone and not happy. Sometimes those suicidal thoughts come to mind, I once cut myself but stopped, I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one with an everyday mask.

  46. Katy, Arkansas Submitted on Tuesday, January 07, 2014

    Hiya, I'm Katy and I'm 13 almost fourteen. For awhile now, this has been me. I knew others felt this way and I try to comfort them, when I can't even comfort myself. I know there is hope. But people just keep pushing me down. When I was 8 something terrible was done to me by a man that caused everything to go down hill. Then I have gotten bullied since I was 8. I know there is hope at the end of the tunnel. But damn, this tunnel is long.

  47. Kat Submitted on Monday, March 31, 2014

    I am 23 and a just got out of the hospital today for depression. I still am but I have been going to group and etc for it. Seek help if you ever feel like this. Don't wait like I did. It's okay to get help. Don't hide it like I did or it could come out in a huge bad way like it did to me.
    We all need help and there is nothing wrong with saying "hey, I need some help." Trust me do it before it all goes wrong.

  48. Sherrickia Brown Submitted on Thursday, April 10, 2014

    I am 17 years of age and very dark and desolate. All I feel is hate, to feel loved I'm desperate. The way how people bring me down, with just mere words. Hurts me to the core, but I still try to pull through.

    I am always down it has even worsened to the point where I can't even eat anymore. I do not have anything left to live for in life. I feel worthless, hopeless and dead and I am really trying to end my misery.

  49. Mary Submitted on Tuesday, April 22, 2014

    I feel the same way too. Me and my boyfriend broke up and he moved on but I didn't move on I'm still here trying to figure out why. So early we just started dating two days later he says I'm leaving you and I said okay, and every morning when I turn the radio on I hear the song happy and I just start to cry from that day on I never laughed or even cracked a smile.

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