Rape Poem

When I was nine years old I had a babysitter who was also my neighbor. He was a guy. At least three nights a week for 2 years he came in my room and took a little bit more of my soul away from me. When I finally decided to tell somebody 2 years later it was too late. I'm now 15 and I can't forget seeing his face hovering over mine.

I Wish I Was Blind

Waiting, debating
Contemplating.
On whether or not I
Should be saying.

He took one thing
I can never get back.
It just goes to show
The real man he lacks.

Trust was a thing
My mom gave to him,
Not knowing the monster he
hides within.

I lay down for sleep
As he tells me to.
Knowing the moment is coming,
When he finally breaks through.

I'm hurt and
I'm bleeding.
Hes laughing,
Ignoring my pleading.

Does he care?
Does it bother him?
Knowing there was more than one thing
He put inside me
Other than grim.

Three years have past
And I am still perturbed,
By the mess he left,
All things in my world are disturbed.

Just thinking hes out there
With some other girl.
Shes probably so scared.
It makes me want to hurl.

I have no bruises,
I have no scars.
But taking my virginity,
Was like taking my heart.

Why would he do this?
What did I do?
I cant take my mind off of him.
I dont know how to.

picture perfect memories,
are not the images I see.
When I look back and think
Of a younger me.

I see his face
flash in my mind
Smiling his ugly smile,
I wish I was blind.

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Published: Mar 2009
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Online Hotline: National Sexual Assault Online Hotline:
U.S., National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1.800.656.HOPE
International Sexual Assault Resources
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15 Stories on "I Wish I Was Blind"
  1. Casey, Wayne Beachfork Submitted on Thursday, September 09, 2010

    I survived ..... I'm still strong

    I was suppose to be going on a fun and exciting boat trip but who would of known me and my two friends were about to get a few touches on the legs and hip ... When he dragged me under the water and started to hump me I thought wow I trusted this man I just wanna be let free He had a drink or maybe two Someone told me he's bad when he drinks stay away but I thought it wasn't true. Good thing I struggled away and knew what I had to do ............. I'm still strong holding on so straighten up your back too and know that the lord loves you <3

  2. Carrie, GA Submitted on Monday, January 17, 2011

    I was raped by my older half brother when I was 5.. he was 15. I didn't tell anyone but my mom. I basically said "Brian said I need to play ''House'' with him". She told me to keep it between us. Doctors said the reason why I remember what happened and so detailed is because of the traumatic experience. My mom told me for years that if I told anyone they wouldn't believe me. I told my dad when I was 11 (I am now 15 going on 16 this year). When my mom found out I told him she said I was lying for attention. My half brother to this day acts like it never happened; but I will never forget the pain it caused me.

  3. Cheyenne, NC Submitted on Friday, February 11, 2011

    Hi, I Cheyenne. I was raped by my dad and I was only 13. Now I'm going on 15. My dad had a camper and he asked if I could spend the night there with him. My grandma, who adopted me, said yes. My dad's camper was only 40 feet away from our trailer. I was playing a game and he started giving me some juice. But I didn't know it was really alcohol. My dad then started touching me bad but I was too out to notice. I went out, and when I woke up, I was un-dressed and bleeding. And then I knew what had happened! My dad was out side so I put my clothes on and ran out the door. He was nowhere in sight. So, I told Mawmaw, his mom and my mom because she adopted me, and she called the cops and he was took to jail right then. I had bruises everywhere and cuts where he took a knife and cut me. But, I am haunted by that night and still am. I hope you guys and girls out there are safe right now because the world is not!

  4. Sade Submitted on Wednesday, July 20, 2011

    Hey my name is Sade I am only 14. I was raped when I was 9 by my moms boyfriend my mom sat there and watched and told me if I was to tell anyone she will kill me. I told her aint no point I will kill myself first. Then on my 10th birthday I got raped by my oldest brother he was 20 he held a gun to my head and told me to shut the hell up before he killed me. Then a couple months ago I was raped by my cousin best friend. I went to use the bathroom and he smacked me and told me I better suck his DICK I told him no and he beat me up and told me after it was all done if I ever told somebody he know where I lived at .... Till this day no one knows but who ever read this it's hard to talk about it but reading you guys happenings just thought it will never get worst.

  5. Anonymous, Concord, Ca Submitted on Wednesday, August 10, 2011

    Hello! I'm 20. I was sodomized by my babysitter's husband from when I was little until I was 11. He did that to another girl then somehow he came onto me. I cried every time I was left with her. I hated her! I was going to the bathroom one day while over there and he came in pulled his pants down and forced me to touch his dick. Every time, I was over at their house, the first thing he did was kissed me. Eww, that disgusting bastard. Even worse, he took me to his room, pulled my pants down kissed me and raped me. I whined every time, I knew little about sex then. I also couldn't even look at his creepy ass face. The worse part of all was that I couldn't find the words to say anything. Then my parents finally stopped leaving me with them when they found out about the abuse and his daughter and grandson found out also. Now she's not speaking to him. Then, I found out he was going to jail. I hate him to this very day and he deserved to go to jail for the pain he caused me.

  6. Andie Kempson, England, Uk Submitted on Monday, October 10, 2011

    I was 8 years old when HE came into my family life, me, my mum and my little bro lived with my nanna. Mum went out as usual and HE came round to my nanna's house and asked if he could take me out, she trusted him so said yes....... That's when HE took me to his house, we had food, watched TV. HE decided it was too hot in the room and removed my jumper and t-shirt. I said I was cold, and that's when HE carried me up stairs to his bed and continued on to Rape Me. All I could do was cry because it hurt and I was so scared, HE said if I tell anyone, HE would hurt my nanna..
    For 8 years HE raped me and abused me, and threatened to hurt my mum and nanna if I told, HE did it because I was bad and needed to be taught a lesson........ I believed everything HE told me, I managed to escape and moved out at 16, I'm 31 now and have just finished 5 years of sexual abuse counseling. I now know that it wasn't my fault, I didn't ask for it, and I didn't deserve any of it. The person who Raped Me got away with it until karma came and he died of cancer 2 months ago

  7. Tash, Miami, Fl Submitted on Thursday, November 17, 2011

    Um, yeah. Well I was molested by...HIM! when I was 8 to 10 yrs old. then RAPED from 10-13. I am now 15 and no one knows but my mother. But I refuse to go to therapy because I'm just a stubborn kid. But the reason I'm sharing this is because I really appreciate this poem and the stories that are being shared which lets me know that although this isn't a thing I want to happen to others I'm not alone! But I hope one day I will be able to be as confident as you all...

  8. Missouri. Submitted on Saturday, February 18, 2012

    I was raped last year. I am at the moment 16 almost 17. I went out with my cousin and when he and one of his friends left to get someone I was alone with this man I didn't know. He kept getting closer and I had no where to go. He made me suck him, he fingered, and raped me from behind. Being older I knew I had to say something but when I told my cousin when he got back he didn't believe me and he beat me for lying. I tried to tell my friend that had been raped the year before.. But she just thought that I was saying the to make fun of her and to make her feel bad. So now I no longer talk to my once favorite cousin and my once best friend.

  9. Cheyanne, Reno, Nevada Submitted on Sunday, February 26, 2012

    Hello, my name is Cheyanne and I was raped for 5 years by my best friends brother almost every night. He would not only rape me he would also beat me until I couldn't move. He would threaten me all the time. The first time he hurt me was in the 3rd grade. He came into the room and touched me. I was so young And didn't know what was going on. I thought it was a mistake. Then it started progressing to the point he started taking my clothes off. That's when he started threatening me, raping me, And beating me. After a year of hurting me he started video taping it. After 5 years of it I finally had enough and ran away. I was in the 7 grade by the time I finally told someone. It may have been 2 years since the last time he hurt me but sometimes it feels like it happened just yesterday. I'm still haunted by his control.

  10. Anonymous, New Mexico, U.S.A. Submitted on Monday, April 23, 2012

    I'm a 19 year old high school student. I was raped by a couple of guys that lived in my neighborhood. I was in the 5th grade when I first met them, and it only took them a couple of weeks to start threatening me to have their way. They raped and beat me for a year, and than they got annoyed with my pleading, and then they started making me do drugs, first it was popping pills, than it progressed to snorting them. eventually they introduced me to the drug that the doctors called "my drug".... HEROIN. I was really hooked on it, and when they first told me to take it I refused. but then I took it and it numbed the pain, I still felt them taking every last bit of me away, but it didn't hurt as much. I didn't get out of the situation until 3 years ago. It doesn't matter how long ago it was I can still see their smile, smell their breath, hear their voices, and worst of all I still flinch when someone touches me. I can't have a normal relationship, I cut myself and have been to the hospital several times just this year. I talk to doctors, talk to family, but they can only do so much for my broken, weak, scared, heart/soul... my advice is when anything is happening to you speak up, tell someone. and when you suspect anything happening to a friend tell someone or pay close attention.. help is the word that everyone knows but when it gets to the point of screaming it, we can't...

  11. Kyla Submitted on Saturday, May 19, 2012

    Hey My name is Kyla, since I was 5 and I moved in with my step mom her adopted son had molested me almost every night, force me to suck his dick, and then one night he raped me. I try and try to tell my mom and dad but they didn't do nothing about it and they didn't believe me. Then I told my friend but she didn't tell anybody. Then I went to a school counselor and told her the night before he had touched me and molested me and done bad things to me and make me done some. But she called DCF and you know what he get? NOTHING they let it go! Every time I see him I just get so scared and then at the point of cutting myself. Then a few months later my dad die and I thought it was my fault! I started doing drugs, popping pills, cutting myself and hurting myself, I see a flash backs of it and its makes me go off, sometimes I can't be in a relationships because of it! I'm always depressed and scared! I can't have a normal life! Nobody can make me happy or nothing! I'll be the same depressed girl I was when he done this! He said if I told anybody he'd kill my dad or tell lies about me. When I finally told the lady I was too scared to come home but I'm still alive aint I? He said I was pretty that's why he done it! So I tell myself I'm ugly when people says I'm pretty I just says I'm ugly! Nobody know why! I just wish somebody can help me!

  12. Katherine, Raleigh NC Submitted on Monday, November 19, 2012

    I was at a party with a few friends and everyone was drinking. Then a so called friend kept handing me drinks until I was too wasted too even move. Then I woke up to that so called friend with his hands in my pants and he's telling me to touch his dick. I then roll off the bed, but I start throwing up so he lays me down and this time I pass out and wake up to him raping me. But now I'm to drunk to even lift up my head so I just cry and fall back asleep. And I tried to confront him and he said he was helping me and that it never happened and then he called me an ungrateful whore.

  13. Syrena Rodriguez, Ohio Submitted on Sunday, February 17, 2013

    I was 12 when this happened.. exactly 4 days before my 13th birthday. It's only been 9 months. Well my cousin, Courtney, asked if I can babysit her children age 5 and 12 month old baby, So she can go drinking and singing with her husband. It was about a 45 minute ride from my home to theirs. They picked me up and drove me to their house. Anyways this event took place around 3-4 in the morning but it seemed forever. I got the children to sleep at ten. Courtney and her husband arrived around 2 am. they gave me my money and went off to bed. I laid on the couch that was where I was to sleep and I woke up around 2:54 am to whispering in my left ear "its okay, I love you" his breath smelled of alcohol. I tried to move but I couldn't. I thought this was a dream. Well it wasn't. It was more of a nightmare. I laid there while he was on the top of me. He took off my pajama pants and my white tank top. I was in shock.. I forgot how to speak.. he kissed my stomach then he moved up towards my chest then onto my neck I flinched at the touch of his lips against my flesh. he held my arms down. I whined. he covered my mouth.. I stared at the ceiling. he pulled down my panties and started the assault.. tears began to come everytime he pushed harder. I squeezed my eyes shut hoping he would be gone. but he was still there. he kisses me. I don't kiss back. he slapped me. I cried. he bites me. it hurts. He's still going as I try to look away he turns my head now we're face to face and all I could see was his hideous smile.. after a while he stopped. He was done. I stood up grabbed my phone and my clothes and went to the bathroom I looked in the mirror. Eyes bloodshot red with tears of fear and a red mark on my face. I texted my bestfriend, Tyler, my current boyfriend.. "help me.. Please.. I'm hurt" I sat in the bathroom for hours.. I texted my grandmother, My guardian at the time. "I'm sick I need to come home." she replied "I can't get you I'm sorry just wait till Courtney brings you home" I said "ok." I didn't tell her until I was home.. my mum took me to the hospital and I got a rape kit done.. He's still out there. The thought of him tears me to pieces. 2 months later I was done. I slit my wrists and overdosed on medications.. I was sent to a mental hospital.. I was there for about a week. I cried everyday at the fact that I let this sick man win. Well that's what I thought. I'm standing up for myself. A 13-year old girl and that's me, Syrena Rodriguez. I have court the 8th of March. next month. So he will be in prison. I will finally be able to rest without fear of him. I love all the people who support me. thanks for listening.

  14. Charity Submitted on Thursday, February 28, 2013

    There's no going back from what happened to me when my life was changed so suddenly. A part of me was taken away by a man who raped me on that day. I was working my shift at nine when someone lifted me up from behind. He took me to a vacant room where he raped me there so soon. I tried to fight my way out but he was strong I couldn't get out. As he was done I was left alone crying on my way home. No one knew what happen to me the day the man raped me.

  15. Samantha, South Carolina Submitted on Monday, December 30, 2013

    Hi I'm Sam, I was 12 when I was raped. It was my older sisters ex-boyfriend who was 19 then. It was two weeks before my 13th birthday. Me, and my once best friend were walking to sonic and he wanted to come. My friend said yes I said nothing. The whole way there he kept touching me and saying that I looked way better than my sister who was 15. He kept saying he wanted me so he could know what it felt like to have one of the Henson sisters. Well we go through this path and we get to this white brick building and he grabs my hand. He tells me he loves and if I love him I will stay with him. He starts kissing my neck and I try to pull away. He grabs me puts his hand over my mouth and slams me against the cold white brick. Shocked I stood there and he looked at my " best" friend and she just walked away. He turned around and smiled at me. He turns me around unbuttoned my pants slipped his hand in my panties and started fingering me. I cried and he put his arm around my throat so I wouldn't scream. I wished he would stop but he didn't. Then he bends me over, pulls down my pants and started to rape me I didn't like it one bit. I was 12 why me what did I do to make him want to hurt me like this. When he was done he just walked away and I pulled up my clothes and walked home with blood going down my leg. I told my sister and she got mad at me. She didn't believe me. I started cutting myself and smoking pot and I had a couple of drinks, but the pain never went away. I turned 17 December the 15 and it has been 5 years now and I have never told anyone what happened that day. He is still out there I see him sometimes and he just smiles at me. I haven't even thought about sex ever since then. I can't have a normal relationship with any guy because when I look at them I see his face and I jump when a guy touches me.
    But, I thank him for what he did because it made me stronger. I stopped cutting and doing all that and said it's not my fault he did that to me. I told myself I deserve to have a normal life even though it will never be that way. I became a stronger girl from this and it will never happen again. I will learn to trust and learn to love a man one day when I find that one I know will not hurt me. Well seeing others stories makes me sad because I would never want this to happen to someone else, but also happy because I know I'm not alone.

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