Alcohol Addiction Poem

I am 17 years old. This is obviously written about my mom, who has a horrible drug and alcohol problem. She used to leave me home alone to go gamble for hours; sometimes for days. Whenever she came back, she came back drunk and abusive. I can remember nights where I stayed up and waited for her to come home. Half of me wanted her to come back safely, and half of me wished I'd never see her again. She almost killed me about a month ago. I filed a restraining order, and can't see her anymore.

One Thing To Say

© Chaise Taylor
There's only one thing I could ever say,
about the way I felt that day.
The day we sat with coloring books,
and kept laughing at our funny looks.
A memory forever imprinted in my soul,
the only one I'll ever have, since you've lost control.

There's only one thing I could ever say,
about the way I felt that day.
The day you hurt me for the first time,
and made me think breathing was a punishable crime.
A memory I'd give anything to trade;
The day my mother started to fade.

There's only one thing I could ever say,
to describe how I hated every day.
The days I waited up all night,
because I couldn't sleep until you made it home alright.
A memory of mine you never even knew,
because when you arrived, I'd hide and avoid you.

There's only one thing I could ever say,
to express how you made me cry that day.
The screaming and hate I saw in your eyes,
wasn't my mother, but an effect of her highs.
A memory that haunts and refuses to decay.
and you don't even remember it, anyway.

There's nothing I could ever say,
to tell you how I feel today.
The pain in my heart that I'll never get used to,
because it's illegal for me to speak to you.
I love you, though you've never believed it;
through your anger, your hate, and temperamental fits.

There's nothing you could ever say,
to make the pain all go away.
I'll remember you for who you were,
from early memories of jumbled blur.
I miss my mother, and all she could have been,
if she hadn't let alcohol let her life cave in.

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Published: Feb 2012
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