STOP Teen Suicide Poem

I’m Standing Here At Your Grave Crying

When I first moved to NC I was 5. My grandma signed me up for soccer. There I meet Zachary (Zack). We quickly become best friends. We knew everything about one another. We could always count on the other one to be there for us. Both of us had been though a much of shit in our life ever since we were little. But we always turned to one another for help and support. But one night only a few months ago I couldn't help him. He didn't want it. He just called to say goodbye. I wrote this poem for his birthday today.

Zack <3

© Julie Bell
Remember that day
Back in the fall of '01?
I ran down that hill
Ready for my first
Soccer practice.
Not knowing anything
About the game.
And there you were
In the goal knowing
Everything possible.

No wonder you
Had that look
On you face, when
The coach paired us up
To run drills together.
But I think it shocked
You when I caught
On quick, and ended up
Doing the drills better.

Maybe that's why
You didn't speak to me
That night. It was the
Next practice when
You let me know
Your unforgettable name.

And almost as quick as I
Caught on the drills we became…
… best friends…

Countless hours if board games
Hundreds of sandcastles
Days spent hanging on monkey bars
Many sleepovers and campouts
Years of soccer games together
Sharing our first rollercoaster ride (ever!)

Soon to follow was our…
… love affair …

Sunset walks at the beach
Summer nights by the lake
Countless hours teaching me
To skateboard. Down by the park

Where at 12 were shared our…
… first kiss …

Many more "first's" we did share
But it was one of our "last's" that…
… changed me forever…

My phone rang, it was you
You were crying, talking about ending it
Just giving up, said you had
The rope in your hands right now
I talked and talked, trying to stop you.

Then I heard the chair fall
It screamed "NOOO!" your phone hit
The floor and the line went dead
As my heart drop tears fell
Like the first spring rain
When winter had just said…
… good bye …

Flash forward to today
I'm standing here at your
Grave crying. Wishing you
a happy 16 birthday.


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Published: Jul 2011
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3 Stories on "Zack <3"
  1. Elah, London Submitted on Sunday, March 25, 2012

    oh my god, I'm crying, RIP Zach
    that was a touching poem!

  2. Kris B., Kellogg, Idaho Submitted on Wednesday, June 20, 2012

    I wrote a poem because every day at school in 6th grade I'd hide in the back of my row... I started crying and no-one knew why.. a friend suggested I start cutting.. once, twice, 9 times total and that's on my ankles and arms... I'm stopping my cutting problem and I've gotten to be 2 month free and I'm going to u date my life on here every once a while.. It's something I can rely on... I'm planning on being cut free and continue writing poems on how my life became a "Hellish time-period"

  3. Brandon Submitted on Thursday, April 04, 2013

    I've been in this situation before. I got help luckily. I'm very sorry for Zach. I'm not a kind of guy that cries, but this poem did. Is it bad I want it to be fake? Hope you're ok. Please don't do what Zach did however the author is.

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