Sad Poem

I've been going through a really hard time at the moment - my dad who abused me when I was younger has just come back into my life and I've had really bad boy and friendship troubles too and I had just realized what a bad state I was in when I wrote this. It really means a lot to me so I hope it's alright for everyone else

I'm Depressed

© Bethany Ashley
People say chin up
But I just feel like giving up
People say smile and it will all go away
But I feel like crying each day

Everything takes effort to do
This constant pain is so hard to live through
Lye in bed and see the day dawning
Hate myself for waking up that morning

I know I need help and I know I need support
donít wanna spend my life feeling this way, itís just to short
But I just can't seem to speak out
Say what this feelings all about

Even if I did tell someone what could they do?
I donít think they could fix this, do you?
Iím so sick and tired of feeling this way
I want to smile and laugh for real and be happy each and every day

Thereís sometimes in the day when I forget about it all
When I smile and laugh, but when I remember itís like a ten thousand foot fall
Do you know what its like for your eyeís to constantly sting
Do you know what itís like to be happy and at the same time feel nothing

I donít think I could end it without living the rest of my life
See my mind and body shudders when I think of picking up a knife
But I really donít feel like I can carry on this way
Feeling so low and empty each and everyday

Itís so hard for me to admit to myself exactly whatís wrong
Hard for me to show myself that Iím not that strong
This idea of happiness, you may say Iím a little obsessed
But I think right now I finally seeÖ. Iím depressed

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Published: Dec 2011
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