I was nine years old when my dad passed. It was very sudden. It really messed me up. I used to love everything and everyone. I was friends with almost everyone that I met. I am now fifteen and am slowly getting back to that. I still have a long way to go though.
Lost With Out You
It's Monday morning
And the house is busy as a hive.
There is something missing
But it doesn't dawn
Late to school no hugging and kissing.
Sitting in class it's reading time
Almost didn't notice when the intercom
Said a name and it was mine.
Caught off guard I walk out of class
Like a slow motion movie
The other doors I pass.
I get to the office the lady points down the hall
I see my mom's boss, Susan
I think "did mom have a fall?"
I get to her she is holding a cup
She puts her hand on my shoulder
And says "this morning your daddy didn't wake up."
I get in her car and look out the window
My brother's on the side I'm silently crying
The rest of the drive home my mind doesn't show.
There is a police car out side the house
So much confusion everywhere inside
For some reason I noticed my cat had a mouse.
All the family and friend's caring
It's too much it's smothering
I want to scream I want to start swearing!
I demanded to go back to school
Because all the sorrow
Was so thick it felt like I was in a pool.
The rest of the year I pleaded to god
To help me forget all the pain
He ignored me so eventually I gave up on god.
Throughout the years I became depressed and wanted to die
I cut my wrist because physical pain was easier to deal with
Maybe I didn't really want to die maybe I just needed a good cry.
Five years after that horrible day and I'm still on the mend
I forgive my daddy for leaving us I still love him and I know
Still to come on this road of life is another large bend.